Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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