I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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