marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
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So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
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DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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