Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
