too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
