I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
