Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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