Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
BRING THE BAGELS
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
