Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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