It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
