You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
