There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
