shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
