But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
