I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
