even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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