I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
