i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
