from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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