dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
