i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
