You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Ketchup is God's man juice
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
