Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
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I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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