i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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