All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
