I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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