I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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