I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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