Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
