I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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