mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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