I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
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