Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
