just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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