I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
