Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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