I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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