lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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