don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
