Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
