Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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