quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
