Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
