on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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