i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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