So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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