I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
