Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
FUCK WHALES
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