absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
