i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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