this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
