If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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