Christians are straight up FREAKS
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
