yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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