What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
