Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
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The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
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He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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