Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
