Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
