Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
it's great music for shaving your balls
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
