Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she peed on how many people?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
