Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
