I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
