Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Randomize
