so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
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I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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