Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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