Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
