My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
