I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
50% drunk capacity currently
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
