Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
